Some tidbits

1) We are interviewing to fill a post: Instructional Technologist.
One of the candidates that we were required to interview (veteran status) just called to see why he hasn't received a campus map and interview location information in the mail. The regular mail. We told him to check his email. May I remind you that he is trying to be hired as someone who specializes in TECHNOLOGY. I have this image of an old guy shuffling out to his mailbox.

2) This in from Russian essay correction:
"D-503 shares his opinions and displays quite fragrantly his lack of self-control."
Good to know that the Soviet Union was open to lack of self-control if it smelled good.

I am back

Drum roll please. I am back.
I have decided that there are just too many tasty morsels with no venue, except for a blog.
1) I have become addicted to Zumba. I am pretty lame at it, but I love it. While checking out the schedule for a class to go to tomorrow I see there is a new instructor. Name is vaguely familiar. Yes. Was one of my students three years ago in a survey course. She was a dreadful student so I am glad that she is good at something. I shall, however, not brave her class, at least not tomorrow. Perhaps, if I ever learn how to do that thing with your butt that they all seem talented at...I will reconsider.
2) Our department is being required to have a trained mediator at all our meetings. I am on leave this semester so have yet to witness this. But I did enjoy her email to us all on Friday which began:
"It was nice to see and meet with you again yesterday.  First, here is the link for the high conflict email tips I told you I would send." Good times continue.
3) Spent some quality time with Sam today shopping for clothes he needs to wear to the Homecoming dance next weekend. Nice trousers, shirt, and, of course, as always, a tie that matches some aspect of the girl's ensemble. In this instance, shoes, that appeared from the photo texted to us while in the tie section of Macy's, to be some shade of aqua, blue, green-ness.
Over and out.

Point and shoot

I am talking about cameras!  Not colleagues.
This evening I went to the first session of a short course I signed up for on using your point and shoot camera. Complete demystification in under two hours. I now understand what all those little setting pictures mean: you know, the little flower or the mountains or the action man. They adjust aperture and shutter speed to levels appropriate for portraiture with shallow field or landscape with deep field etc. Wow! Totally worth the price of entry.

student redux

For long time readers.... hello all two or three of you. You may recall the story from a couple of years back about the student who was contesting a grade in a Spanish class and forged a doctor's letter about illness. When I suggested that before we could meet, I would need a letter on letterhead and signed and dated by said doctor. To which I received the reply by email, "What is letterheaded?"
That student got an academic suspension after much wrangling with the football powers that be who didn't want him to "suffer" too much.
Tonight is the big Utah BYU game for Homecoming and I notice that our friend is back and big on the team. Hopefully he found out what letterhead is incase he needs to do any more forgery.

Not being chair

You can tell it has been awhile since a post when you log on and the entire interface has changed... took me a few seconds to even find a window to type in.
Not being department chair is a beautiful thing. It is as though I have been wrapped in wads and wads of cotton wool through which I can still vaguely hear and see annoying things, but not well enough for them to penetrate the cocoon.
That's not to say we don't have our own craziness at the Center. Today our poor office assistant got on the wrong side of a student who then proceeded to whip out her phone and start videoing their interaction. She even stalked her to the bathroom.
Then the Arabic TA who missed orientation and showed up late for classes starting quit today. Hers was a convoluted tale of "she was having a miscarriage so she couldn't come to orientation; then she actually wasn't pregnant so, whew, but then she was and "took some medicine" that caused her to have a miscarriage, so she has to quit the program...or so was the story told by her husband to our administrative assistant today. No one could quite follow and he kept interjecting that he was 'really fed up' with his wife. We agreed it was a trying situation.
The Center is up and running but we don't actually have any space. The remodeling project drags on, well, it has yet to officially start. But yesterday we picked furniture finishes and chair fabric and carpeting so it seems a little more likely to happen during this calendar year.

WOW

Long time no post. Partly I have been pondering whether to keep at it... The blog and its title were conceived at the beginning of my run as department chair and now I am no longer chair, so maybe no more blog? Not sure. Today was the annual fall departmental retreat and I did not have to attend due to my sabbatical. I cast about for an activity suitably opposite to sitting in a room listening to whinging and  bemoaning and flagellating....and I went to the local pool and sat in the sun and read a mystery novel. Bliss.

Love

What a super day. A lie in Mum's super comfortable bed with a plethora of down pillows. I enjoyed every cushy bit of feathery goodness. My down pillows at home have been banned because they make Craig wheeze...and I do miss them.
Then we wandered down to Starbucks for a delicious latte and then into Waitrose which is full of such yummy looking food. Bought some beet and horseradish soup for lunch and it was fab.
Then down to see mum's new neighborhood and peek into her new house. We have an appointment to see it for real on Monday. After that I boarded my train to York and three hours later, here I am. I am booked in to my cute little b&b. I got settled and wandered out to explore the neighborhood. Small streets with terraced brick houses. I couldn't resist Tony's Plaice which I happened upon just as Friday night 'fry time' was starting... a nice piece of haddock and chips -- delicious. They had signage up claiming that fish and chips is better for you than other fast food, burgers and chips etc. I decided to believe them.

Full Circle

Today is a super special day. Besides being Canada Day....I am no longer Co-Chair of my department. Yay!!!!!! Last night I dreamt that I got stuck on public transport two separate times each time with one of my least favorite colleagues who proceeded to tell me how much they hated my leadership and how relieved they were that it was over. In another weird dream scene, my most difficult colleague passed me in a speedo announcing that the new chair had suggested she join the swim team (I didn't know we had one) and how great that was that she had taken a personal interest in her extra-curricular development. I just kept thinking that seeing this person in a speedo was not improving my mood one bit.
I started this blog because of becoming chair; but no fear, I don't plan to end it. So stay tuned for continuing sporadic updates.

Summer Seminar

Another wonderful seminar for chairs done and dusted. For this one I got to travel to a new (for me) destination, Eugene Oregon. The sun is out today and it is beautiful. Yesterday I visited their Saturday market which was like entering a time warp. Booth after booth of tie dye and leather goods.... Absolutely gorgeous produce, artisanal cheeses, flowers to die for. It was fantastic. I wish I could have bought armfuls of the basil to take home.
Now I am at the tiny airport which is staffed by the nicest people I have ever seen working at an airport. Bought one of those mini packets of motrin and the cashier immediately offered me her scissors because "those packages can be really difficult to open." My favorite though was the college student at security whose luggage consisted of a large clear plastic bag filled with a paltry few items and a skateboard.
Next week I will be at the other summer seminar in Nashville. Craig deigns to join me and will spend his days going from pawn shop to pawn shop checking out hocked music gear.

Yulia's diplomatic take on soap issue

Dear Student,

That might be an issue. I honestly do not know. All the detergent that my mother uses has a strong perfume smell. Maybe there is something for sensitive skin.

I would bring some detergent with you for the first time before we can find something for you. I guess if you feel that you run out of the detergent and you cannot find anything else that you can use, you can ask your mam to ship you more, but keep in mind that it takes a 6 weeks for a parcel to get to Krasnoyarsk from the States.

In the worst case scenario you can buy baby soap and wash clothes with that by hand.

Yulia

Russia, part umpteenth

Student wants to know:
"Hey, I just realized that I forgot to mention on my housing form that I have sensitive skin: meaning that I can only use laundry detergent that is free & clear of all perfumes & dyes. Does that matter? I was going to bring my own laundry detergent to make it easier, but Julia Mikhailova said that the internal baggage weight for the airlines is only about 44lbs/20kg, and I don't want my luggage to be overweight...sorry about not putting it on the housing form...is the laundry detergent thing going to be an issue at all in Russia? because, if anything, I can have my mom ship me some of our laundry detergent once we get the address where i'm staying..."


Tempted to respond: "Everything is an issue in Russia."
But probably need to be a little less abrupt.


Can  you tell that I am beyond the end of my rope with this program. Today is the day we find out if the students will actually be able to get visas... if not, I may not be responsible for my actions.

Graduation pictures

Enjoying the bbq on the back deck.

 Cupcakes made by Catherine and Keziah. Keziah comes from the sort of family that owns a cupcake display thingy. Isn't it awesome. Alison, I'm talking to you!

Catherine, Todd, Sam and Gina who babysat them for years. Saved my single mom life every Wednesday night. And stayed with them for a week when Craig and I went to Hawaii in 2007.

graduation

Today was Catherine's graduation. Hard to believe (cliche) and yet so needed. She is ready to move on to the next phase of life. After the party we hosted ended, headed out to the garage to see if we have low profile chairs for the Sheryl Crow concert on Sunday.
Pic of me in my chair. With new hair cut. Probably should have washed and styled it, but between making kebabs and pasta salad and hemming Catherine's dress...

F.....ing Russians

This is the fourth year of our study abroad program in Krasnoyarsk. Every year things do not go smoothly and every year I think, ok, note to change things next year. And I do, but something new goes wrong. Learned last night that the visa invitation letters will not arrive in time for some students' US departures; or, rather, they can pay for one day visa processing at the consulate in San Francisco, but that service will run them $550 each!!!! I have promised myself that this is it. Never again. Not worth it. Students can go on someone else's program.

Hair

When I was in 7th grade I had my first salon hair cut, thanks to the persistent encouraging by my friend Michelle whose mother was a hair dresser. It was 1977 and I emerged with the Dorothy Hammill cut - see above. I HATED IT. I felt exposed, self-conscious, mortified -- insert other words of shame. The funny thing is it probably looked cute. Anyway, perhaps that is why I have always had a horror of hair salons. I instantly feel worried, inadequate and in danger of an unpleasant shearing. I have always been in awe of friends and their casual mentions of their stylists -- hell, even Craig has a stylist, but in true Mormon fashion she disappears periodically to drop another child. My best friends here in SLC, Val and Ellen, each have their go-to person and they look fab. Me, I go to Great Clips, pay my $13 and am proud that that line in my budget is miniscule. But, I am going grey and so periodically I toy with going to a real salon and getting my hair colored properly. Today I did. And, WOW! what a difference. I went to Val's guy, Stephen, and because I am now 49, and not 12, I could quell my insecurities and go with the flow of talking about my hair, my color, my style....huh? The downside, I was there for three hours; the upside, my hair is amazing!!!!! The color is spectacular, the attention to "building height here and lightening things up there"... well, I no longer look like a lollipop or a q-tip. Many more dollars than 13 later, I am home and happy.

Birthday

We went for fondue

 

We had cake.

With promises to be more regular about blogging, here are a few end of terms gems.

1) Student failed for plagiarizing a final paper stands outside our advisor's office and makes a phone call in which she is heard to say the following:
"I need you to come down here and explain to them that when you read that stuff to me over the phone that I typed into my paper, you were taking it from the internet......" Because that in her view would exonerate her....
Shortly followed by: "No, I don't want my money back...."

2) Had the joy of being interviewed by an investigator from the Utah Labor Antidiscrimination Board about a certain plagiarist of the more mature variety... apparently his troubles had nothing to do with his actions but evidenced a pro-Arabist plot on the part of yours truly and others.

3) Am considering kidnapping my sister Alison who is gifted with a strong decluttering gene so that she can help me move offices this summer. This would be the moment to get rid of photocopied articles from graduate school...

4) Had to inform faculty member that no, he could not tell a student she was barred from majoring in Chinese because it is her native language. His response, "don't we have a department policy against this?" Nope, and you have been here longer than me and were even Director of Undergraduate Studies for two years.

Coming tomorrow - birthday pictures of Catherine's 18th.

check up

At work we have the option of participating in health screenings to reduce our monthly insurance premiums so in the spirit of the great weight loss adventure, I decided to subject myself to two. The first was a measure of RMR -- resting metabolic rate. As I understand it, this tells you how many calories you burn just being alive. The number does not include calories burned walking around, brushing your teeth, eating bon bons etc. The second test was the body composition one which takes place in a pod like contraption. In both cases a piece of paper is printed at the end that tells you things you might rather not have known.... Actually the RMR was on the encouraging side. I learned that I have a metabolism between normal and fast. The bad news is that means weight gain is really a function of wine and other things... I can't moan about my sluggish metabolism being at fault. The bod pod test was pretty depressing and its numbers shall not be repeated here. The good news here is that I am not officially OBESE. Yay. However, I am also not "moderately lean" which is where I would like to be. You do find out how many lbs of you are non-fat though and the idea is to go back after losing weight and hopefully not have that number decline just the pounds of fat number. Its all about the baseline...

Summer already

It appears that we have gone straight to summer. It was in the 80s today and yesterday; Craig, bless him, got the swamp coolers running. I bought a chaise lounge and Sam has taken to it with a vengeance. Catherine is continuing to use the treadmill, which continues to inhabit the garage. Apart from the fact that it will probably get too hot in there over the summer, it actually isn't a bad place to have it. We are continuing to eat our strange diet concoctions and a lot of grilled chicken and salad. Results are amazing.

the great traveling spate ends

I made a whirlwind trip to Springfield Missouri at the beginning of the week to do another program review. And that concludes the weeks of travel that had me in Canada, England, Arizona and Missouri. I managed to get back up to Silver status on Delta. Now we enter the party season. Our work end of year party is on the 28th followed by goodbye for someone on the 10th, goodbye to our chairship dinner on the 12th, and of course my and Catherine's birthdays.
We have been engaging in serious dieting thanks to my old high school friend Joan who is our coach. We both decided to enter this summer looking fabulous so stay tuned.
To this end, I bought a treadmill yesterday which was delivered and is ENORMOUS. I have it in the garage as we contemplate how and where to put it in the house. The plan was to put it in the basement so we can watch TV, but I think we will end up banging our heads on the rather low ceiling....
Catherine is so dedicated that she used it in the garage yesterday.