The Department

I am woefully behind but wanted to update all of you on the latest idea coming from the L&L co-chairs' offices. It needs fleshing out, but we think it will be a money maker.

Reality TV has brought you Big Brother, Wife Swap and Survivor- versions jungle to tropical island ... The half hour sitcom was revitalized by The Office. We bring you The Department: a cut throat, comedic romp through the pathos that is life in the modern academic department. Stay tuned for our first episode where a certain lecturer goes ballistic, half our files are carted away for use in a faculty instigated legal proceeding, and the female members of the department must wade through an inch of 'water' when using the restroom. You'll be hooked and won't want to miss week two's episode where a group of malcontents is forced into mediation. Stay tuned. This promises to be next season's smash hit.

PE in the 21st century

I had a load of overdue items to return to the library so when I got home I began gathering them up. Catherine was home with her friend Keziah, who was investigating job opportunities at McDonalds on the computer, albeit not seriously. Before I announced I was going to the library, C asked if I would be able to stop by the library to pick up a yoga dvd for them.... Huh? Explanation. When C got out of bowling it was a move to aerobics which seems to be actually a kind of cultural studies riff on exercise fads by the teacher. They have "sweated to the oldies" with Richard Simmons and all manner of other weird exercise fads. Keziah, C's incredibly extroverted friend, embraces all this with verve and I guess they had done a little warrior pose yesterday and wanted more. I went to the library and most of what was checked in was "yoga for pregnant women" which I thought wasn't quite the message for a couple of 16 year olds. I managed to scrounge up something labeled "Ancient yoga traditions," a pilates video and, for good measure, something dance funk high energy and not yoga at all. The next thing I knew they reappeared dressed in full on 80s work out gear demanding photos of them in their best warrior pose.

Meanwhile Sam is out at a party and just called to say that I could pick him up a few minutes later because they have embarked on the tormenting of homeowners otherwise known as ding dong ditch.

Just back from a fabulous weekend in Southern Utah. It feels like a little reprise of summer. Mum arrived on Thursday and Friday afternoon we headed out after school in the new car - I'll have to do a separate post on that. We stayed in Torrey and Saturday did a trip to Boulder and then on the Burr Trail and back to Torrey after a late lunch in Boulder. The guy at the next table was an Aussie biking from Portland, Oregon to Washington DC. He was a character - how could he not be? - and we enjoyed hearing a few of his tales from the road.

Somewhere in this photo I think you might see Sam who climbed up, up and up.

Mum and Craig.

Date night

Craig and I went out on a date. Well, not really a date since it wasn't planned or anything. Mid afternoon as he was reading a section of Wednesday's paper which was still floating around on our dining room table he decided we should try a new restaurant called Sea Salt. So we did and it was delish and then we went to a movie. The latter not so successful. The movie itself was ok (The American with George Clooney) - I think mainly an excuse for him to shoot a movie in Italy. The scenery was beautiful, the plot thin. But the main problem was that the place was full of consumptives one of whom was sitting right behind us. When she wasn't coughing and choking, she was unwrapping lozenges. I am not a germaphobe but eventually I just leaned forward because I couldn't help visualizing being sprayed with germs.

peaceful

Faculty retreat came and went without a whimper. I announced the that there would be no meetings of the full faculty this fall and no one said anything. At lunch one of our able staffers suggested that "people think you have given up and are going to let them do whatever they want." Oh, that's why there were no questions. There was just a inward sigh of relief. Well, I guess everyone will be surprised when we do something racy like scheduling classes in a way that makes sense in a big picture sort of a way, not a "but I never come in on Mondays and Fridays" sort of a way.

For the time being it all seems very peaceful.

All I can say is "wow"

Email from one of our administrative position holders to another faculty member. Well, I guess the writer's position is crystal clear.

Dear ______________,

it is inappropriate for you to undermine the director of __________________ by promising students special treatment or special deals. I have
to think not only of ___________, but also of all the other students
who may not want to take this course.

In the future, please refrain from interfering in my job.

_____________

When we were humbled

Today my fearless co-chair and I met with someone who came highly recommended. Let's just say she spends her days helping dysfunctional academic units get back on track. We got on to her when I ran into some colleagues from another department last week after their annual departmental retreat. I KNOW how crazy things go in their meetings so imagine my amazement when my coy "So how was your retreat?" question was answered "great." GREAT? What happened to "and then he said, and then she said, and then he voted....etc." Above mentioned woman happened is what. Apparently she nips manipulative language in the bud, tells people they have been heard and there is "no need to say it again." Immediately I was all: "Can she please come to our retreat" and I emailed her and we met today to gauge the lay of the land. Two brief stories about recent discussions in our department and she said: "You all have no business meeting." Ok, she didn't have the southern accent, but that was the message. But, we countered, we don't want to be the autocratic nightmare that our predecessor was, we need to meet to get faculty input, our faculty insist on "faculty governance"... And in the imitable words of Kathryn Dixon "And how's that working for you?"

Ok, its not. Our human resource consultant's advice: tell them that you have observed that our meetings are not productive, that you want to be productive, that until further notice we will not meet. Wow. I can't wait. Came back to the office, cancelled the afternoon of Friday's retreat leaving only the purely informational morning.